Updated: Sep 26, 2022
In a recent podcast (you can find my channel at podcast.janbaylisscounselling.com.au ) I have talked about self forgiveness and what it may actually mean. The feelings of blame could be viewed as being ‘shame based’ and it can be hard to even contemplate being able to think about taking responsibility for any action in life, especially if it had become a patterning from childhood and allowing others to take the blame. Perhaps you may have had pangs of guilt though were too scared to own up because of what the consequences may have been. Taking responsibility for something can then become extremely scary for an individual as admitting blame could have had dire consequences in childhood.
So, with this is mind, and also with the thought around how childhood messages play out throughout life as talked about in previous podcasts, who would want to take responsibility?
Unfortunately, you may find that until you are willing to accept total and complete responsibility for every aspect of your life, your life may keep sending you experiences designed to get your attention. Now, some people who may be content to not own up to things, may also be content to continue the ‘not taking responsibility’ game and make sure someone else gets the blame. A continuing and often comfortable patterning in their life. However, continuing along this path deprives a person of being able to experience ‘self correction’.
In this case, would self- correction be even possible as the patterning could be so ingrained that it becomes the ‘norm’.
What does this mean then when people begin to form relationships and have children of their own. How does this patterning of not accepting responsibility for behaviours sit within the bounds of a healthy relationship?
Accepting responsibility allows a person to examine the choices made. When you are willing to accept responsibility for your choices, the outcome leads you to self-evaluation and self-correction and then it is up to you to decide how you will allow this to become the ‘norm’ in your life and how you may forgive yourself in the process.
You can hear more on Self Forgiveness on my podcast channel at podcast.janbaylisscounselling.com.au